Eddie Johnson is lazy.

Sorry no one's posted here in a while. I'll need to catch up with the guys and see what the deal is. For Eddie Johnson fans, I apologize, but this is going to be me ranting about how useless he is.

EDDIE JOHNSON



I sat down last night to partake in the Kansas City vs. New England game with a virtual soccer hard-on. Yeah, I don't get a whole lot of soccer boners about the MLS, but I thought it could be a good one last night. They both play decent, attractive soccer, so I thought I'd pour a nice Stella Artois and enjoy the HD broadcast.

The Article

I should note before I go into my rant that I pretty much can't stand anything about Eddie Johnson. His story posted on www.kansascity.com did not help me any being that he just seems like you're usual 'rich with no idea of what to do with the money' type of guy. If you want me to feel for good for the guy (which is what the article seems to be attempting to do), don't tell me about how he's driving an Escalade with rims on it and sporting a bunch of diamonds all over the place. That makes me feel like he's a rapper, not a KC Wizards soccer player. If you have a mom, brothers and sisters, a baby mommy, and a child to support, why the hell are you spending your money on diamonds and a killer haircut with 4 Real and a flame carved in the back? Who are you, Vanilla Ice?


Last Night

Anyways, back to the gameplay. Last night was the laziest performance I've ever seen by a soccer player. If you have the game taped, re-watch it and just focus on Eddie's runs and defensive pressure. He did nothing. He got paid a lot of money to go out and stand around. And for all of you who are going to vent in the comments section about how he has 12 goals, go back and watch those. Almost all of them are from a deflection or him just being faster than someone on a long ball. Eddie doesn't beat people off the dribble b/c he's lazy. The ball comes to his feet and he either a) passes backwards as EVERYONE could see in Copa America and the Gold Cup. b) stands there and let's the defender step in front of him (evidenced at least 3 times last night), or c) traps the ball and loses it. He has done nothing productive to go forward as long as I've watched him. Everyone talks like "he's back" or as he likes to put it, he's "4 Real", but it seems to me that all that's changed is his luck. It's not due to his extreme hard work and effort. 98% of the MLS has less talent than Eddie, but it seems to me he's perfectly happy to take that for granted.

Derby County, etc.

At this point, everyone knows that Eddie Johnson turned down an offer from Derby in the EPL. I understand he has 12 goals this year and I read all of his jibber-jabber excuses about not going, but I sincerely think that he won't ever go and here's why...

Landon Donovan syndrome. Yes, I just diagnosed it with a Pap smear.

It's much easier to stay in the States where you're a) comfortable. b) where your child and baby mommy is. c) where you can drive an Escalade and live a rapper's lifestyle. d) where you can still lead the league in goals. e) where you can still look impressive enough to get a US Men's National Team call-up even though you never prove yourself when you get there and f) and most importantly, you can be lazy.

Don't get me wrong, folks. I don't think Eddie Johnson isn't talented. And I also can't say that I was never lazy in my playing days, but the point is, we, as fans must stop defending him. We need to watch his effort on the field and judge our opinion based on that. Goals aren't the only definitive thing that makes a player. The effort he puts forth for his team is more important. For those of you that are questioning my ranting lunacy, email me when you see him apply defensive pressure, or hustling after he loses a ball, or fighting for a header, or putting a move on someone and beating him, etc. When you see that more than 50% of games, I will shut my mouth and post a personal apology.

- Brad